374. meanderings.
I wondered this morning
– whilst waiting for the lights to change –
I wondered
who’ll go first ?
her or me
I’m thirteen years ahead already
and I always was in a rush
whereas she dawdles
taking her sweet time
always a few steps behind
but life’s throw of the dice does odd things
strange things
stranger things still
big H, his chin slowly nod, nod, nodding down
on his ancient hoary chest
he sits up with a start as I politely cough
as if he never was asleep
behind his leather-topped desk
this big man with bottle-bottom glasses
and a dad who’s nearly a hundred –
so he hasn’t got dementia after all
and what if the Apache strung me up
over a fire, head down to slowly slowly roast
through lungfuls of burning smoke
would I rather it was me, honestly,
or my dear old mum
who’s only got a few years left, if we’re straight,
I guess it’d have to be me
seeing as I’d have to kill myself anyway
the lights turn amber
and I hope it’s me who goes first
or am I being even more selfish
leaving her behind
with all that stuff to do ?