215. things that get right on my tits #1 : Fusion Food.
can we agree some things ?
if God had meant Stroganoff
to be gently infused with lemongrass
he’d have invented it in Thailand
right ?
if my nice rump steak
was meant to be drizzled with
an espadrille of lavender-scented honey
he’d have invented it in BodyShop
right ?
Oh, and by the way,
you know your roasted monkfish
served up with a flourish of gooseberry foam ?
Well, some kitchen-oik just hoiked-up
that “foam” – oh yes he did –
& you’re paying good money for the
contents of some Tristram’s sinuses.
If I have any secretions on my plate
they’d better be from Jennifer Lopez
– or Kylie maybe,
cos anything they secrete
has got to be deee-fuckin-licious right ?