212. The Times
I hadn’t been to church in a while
hadn’t realised just how PC
the whole palaver had become
until I went up to take communion
from the lesbian lady vicar
– all tattoos & piercings –
& handing out the nibbles & drinks
she mumbles
The gluten-free body of Christ:
The pesticide-free blood of Christ:
The gluten-free body of Christ:
The pesticide-free blood of Christ:
Christ, I thought,
it’s only a matter of time
before the refreshments
come in little cartons & sachets
like Travelodge milk & sugar
& you’ll have to help yourself
– and break your fingernails
in the process, no doubt.