40. I never told you this

the calling card of a guardian angel is
said to be a single white feather.
is there such a thing as a guardian angel?
I don’t know, but I’ll tell you something –
that when you were in hospital,
dying,
I walked in the door behind you
and in your wake,
in the breeze of your gown
on the floor,
danced a single white feather,
like it belonged to you
and only you.
the tears welled,
unseen to you,
and a week later
you walked out of hospital.

I sometimes wonder, maybe,
if your guardian angel
is missing a feather,
or is this just some fairytale for grown-ups,
– but you are still alive,
and I know what I saw.

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