66. blondie
cuddle me faster
cuddle me harder
love me like you loved her
I hear you scream
love me like you mean it
you bastard
– desolate –
you spit out the words
as you sit there on the stairs
actually whining, as does a dog,
which makes me cry as well
as I have never heard a human whine before,
something primaeval, strange,
somehow prehistoric, of the wild,
just like an animal
& rocking back & forth gently
comforting yourself,
a wild thing, in my home,
and I feel pity
and a longing even,
to put my arms around you,
to console you,
knowing that I am the source of your misery
but sadly, I cannot give you what you crave
for you killed it long ago,
with razorblades & paracetamol.